“Sex is the most amazing stress reliever. I actually think it's the best thing for everything! I think it should be 100 percent part of everyone's life on a day-to-day basis. We'd all be a lot happier!”—Cameron Diaz, aka Justin Timberlake's girlfriend, speaking to MSNBC

A mere six weeks after gaining control of the Senate, Democrats are quivering at the lip with the news that South Dakota Democrat, Senator Tim Johnson, suffered a stroke on Dec. 13th. Breathing heavily, fatigued Dems quickly realized that if the 60-year old gentleman is unable to continue, a vote will take place to name his replacement. Here's the kicker: Johnson is the 1-vote majority they currently grip. If a Republican is somehow named his replacement, they'll lose the Senate. An anonymous source was quoted as saying, “This stroke of Mr. Johnson could spill its ramifications all over the Senate floor, and yes, into the households of every American. We're all watching this Johnson stroke closely, and [House Leader] Nancy Pelosi has got to be squirming with anticipation.”